Question: I have been married for 3 years now and I discovered at the very beginning that the person I thought was “the right man for me” turned out to be not exactly right. I met another man I fell in love with and he naturally does not want a relationship with me because he does not want to break up a family. What family, we have not been a family for a long time?! I don’t know how to get a divorce without me, my child, and everybody else involved suffering yet another heavy blow.

Eva Kuleva: I wonder how you figured out that your husband was not “the right man for you.”

How long were you together before getting married?

And how long after getting married it turned out that you are not a good match?
And if you are really not compatible, how could you have figured that out before getting married?

The fact that you fell in love with another man does not mean that he is a better fit for you. What if he too turns out not to be the right man for you after you commit to each other?

If I were you, I would answer the question, “What makes a man the right man for me in the long run? And when you have a more clear idea of the right partner for you, evaluate the two men in your life. Describe the qualities that you like in them and those you do not like, how you feel with each of them, etc.

I recommend to all couples who have married and have a child or children to do their best to create a fullfilling relationship with one another. If they cannot manage on their own, they are to see a family therapist or a coach.

If that does not help, then divorce is probably the best solution. But let’s not be fooled, divorce is usually a very “heavy blow”. When you have made vows for a lifetime and you break these vows the disappointment is enormous. Of course, this is not a good enough reason to spend the rest of your life with someone you do not love, nor does it make sense to stay together “for the children sake”. It is important to make a conscious and responsible decision and be ready to bear the consequences of it.